19 Waking Quotes About Coffee
Posted on 12th February, 2008 by Albert T.Category: Coffee quotes
I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.
- Steven Wright
Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?
- Jean Kerr
A morning without coffee is like sleep.
- Unknown
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
- Abraham Lincoln
I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine!
- Unknown
Decaffeinated coffee is kind of like kissing your sister.
- Bob Irwin
Don’t drink coffee in the morning. It will keep you awake until noon.
- Unknown
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
- Alex Levine
If it ain’t caffeinated, it ain’t coffee!
- Unknown
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.
- T. S. Elliot
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
- Unknown
I like my coffee strong, not lethal!
- M*A*S*H
Do I like my coffee black? There are other colors?
- Unknown
I think if I were a woman I’d wear coffee as a perfume.
- John Van Druten
I bought a decaffeinated coffee table, you can’t even see a difference.
- Unknown
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
- Stephen Wright
Coffee comes in five descending stages: Coffee, Java, Jamoke, Joe, and Carbon Remover.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.
- Stephanie Piro
I make serious coffee – so strong it wakes up the neighbors.
- Unknown
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February 15th, 2008
“i like my coffee black, just like my metal”
-Mindless Self Indulgence
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February 25th, 2008
“I make serious coffee – so strong it wakes up the neighbors.”
I love this one!
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February 25th, 2008
“I like my coffee like I like my women, hot and strong!” Eddie Izzard
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February 26th, 2008
“If you wanted a cup of cream and sugar, why’d you ask for coffee?”
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February 26th, 2008
“Without coffee, there would be too much blood in my caffeine system.”
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February 27th, 2008
“I like my coffee like I like my women: ground up and in the freezer.”
Hannibal Lecter
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February 28th, 2008
my personal coffee dilema is that i can’t do anything properly before i have had my coffee . . . this includes making my coffee. just this morning i exploded milk in my face trying to make a latte. i have accepted it at this point.
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February 28th, 2008
“I like my coffee like I like my women: black and hotâ€
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February 29th, 2008
I like my coffee like I like my men: tall, dark and hairy.
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March 2nd, 2008
[...] – Bob Irwin WakeUpVibes [...]
March 4th, 2008
That T. S. Eliot quote is WAYYY out of context.
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March 4th, 2008
I like my coffee to have the bite of a pitt-bull terrier, and so strong that it just about eats through the glass.
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March 6th, 2008
[...] Wake Up Vibes Blog [...]
March 6th, 2008
“Coffee has to be dark like the devil, hot as the hell and sweet as love”
Ukrainian proverb
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March 8th, 2008
These are hilarious! I love the theme of your blog
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March 10th, 2008
Taking decaf is like smoking Rothmans instead of marijuana.
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March 11th, 2008
I DO like my coffee strong… I like coffee just thin enough to drink, but not so thick …that you could think about plowing it!
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March 13th, 2008
[...] 19 Waking Quotes About Coffee Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze? [...]
March 22nd, 2008
i love the quotes on your page, as for me – i love coffee so much that i use it as a nick name online at times ”coffee nut” lol
and i like it strong but not super strong, and i gotta have my sugar and creamer in it (preferably hazelnut creamer)…
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April 14th, 2008
I like my coffee like i like my women,
Ground up and frozen
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June 24th, 2008
Puke – “I like my women like I like my coffee”
Snot – “Hot and black?”
Puke – “Cold and Bitter.”
- Puke and Snot Show.
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July 31st, 2008
I like my coffee so strong that you have to cut it with a knife and fork to get it in your cup. Once in there it walks it’s self over to the sugar bowl, scoops in 2 spoonfuls of sugar. Then stirs it in ’til the spoon melts then threatens you with the handle… daring you to drink it! THAT is good coffee!
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August 14th, 2008
One man: “this coffee tastes like mud”!
Waiter: “Yes Sir…it was just “ground” this Morning”!
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October 14th, 2008
hehe…brilliant! Steven Wright….still right after all these years.
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February 9th, 2009
All these quotes are funny and all these quotes are true. I am a great fan of coffee myself, I am afraid I am a too great fan of it because my daily dose is four cups. Do you find this normal?
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Albert T. Wolf Reply:
February 10th, 2009 at 5:01 am
Actually it’s not really the number of cups that counts when it comes to health, but amount of caffeine in them. According to American Dietetic Association’s Complete Food and Nutrition Guide up to 300 mg of caffeine in a day is considered safe for average person.
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April 22nd, 2009
My personal favorite, “I like my coffee like I like my men, weak, white, and too sweet.” In reality though, I prefer a perfectly blended dark roast with little sugar and no creamer.
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January 29th, 2010
“I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine!
- Unknown” Sounds familiar, Too much or too little?
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