No coffee can be good in the mouth that does not first send a sweet offering of odor to the nostrils.
- Henry Ward Beecher

I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.
- Flash Rosenberg

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
- Author Unknown

This coffee falls into your stomach, and straightway there is a general commotion. Ideas begin to move like the battalions of the Grand Army of the battlefield, and the battle takes place. Things remembered arrive at full gallop, ensuing to the wind. The light cavalry of comparisons deliver a magnificent deploying charge, the artillery of logic hurry up with their train and ammunition, the shafts of with start up like sharpshooters. Similes arise, the paper is covered with ink; for the struggle commences and is concluded with torrents of black water, just as a battle with powder.
- Honore de Balzac, “The Pleasures and Pains of Coffee”

He was my cream, and I was his coffee -
And when you poured us together, it was something.
- Josephine Baker

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
- Alphonse Allais

Deja Brew: The feeling that you’ve had this coffee before.
- Author Unknown

Coffee leads men to trifle away their time, scald their chops, and spend their money, all for a little base, black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle water.
- The Women’s Petition Against Coffee, 1674

The coffee is prepared in such a way that it makes those who drink it witty: at least there is not a single soul who, on quitting the house, does not believe himself four times wittier that when he entered it.
- Charles de Secondat Montesquieu

After all, coffee is bitter, a flavor from the forbidden and dangerous realm.
- Diane Ackerman

Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death and as sweet as love.
- Turkish proverb

Ah, that is a perfume in which I delight; when they roast coffee near my house, I hasten to open the door to take in all the aroma.
- Jean Jacques Rousseau

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table – There’s nothing wrong with them, but it’s hard to stop thinking about it.
- Garrison Keillor

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos

But I love New York. I used to set my alarm clock when I was there, and get up at 4am and get a coffee, just because I could.
- Gail Porter

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
- Bill Cosby

Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.
- Earl Wilson

When I wake up in the morning, I just can’t get started until I’ve had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I’ve tried other enemas.
- Emo Philips

When traveling with someone, take large does of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.
- Helen Hayes

The voodoo priest and all his powders were as nothing compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and perhaps stronger than the human soul itself.
- Mark Helprin, Memoir from Antproof Case, 1995

Black as the devil, Hot as hell, Pure as an angel, Sweet as love.
- Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord; Recipe for coffee

Over second and third cups flow matters of high finance, high state, common gossip and low comedy. [Coffee] is a social binder, a warmer of tongues, a soberer of minds, a stimulant of wit, a foiler of sleep if you want it so. From roadside mugs to the classic demi-tasse, it is the perfect democrat.
- The New York Times, 1949

A cup of coffee – real coffee – home-browned, home ground, home made, that comes to you dark as a hazel-eye, but changes to a golden bronze as you temper it with cream that never cheated, but was real cream from its birth, thick, tenderly yellow, perfectly sweet, neither lumpy nor frothing on the Java: such a cup of coffee is a match for twenty blue devils and will exorcise them all.
- Henry Ward Beecher, ‘Eyes and Ears’

You know you’ve been playing too much Nethack when …
You refer to coffee as a potion of sleep resistance.
- Sweeney Todd Lundgren

It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. I bet this kind of thing does not happen to heroin addicts. I bet that when serious heroin addicts go to purchase their heroin, they do not tolerate waiting in line while some dilettante in front of them orders a hazelnut smack-a-cino with cinnamon sprinkles.
- Dave Barry

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Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?
- Jean Kerr

A morning without coffee is like sleep.
- Unknown

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
- Abraham Lincoln

I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine!
- Unknown

Decaffeinated coffee is kind of like kissing your sister.
- Bob Irwin

Don’t drink coffee in the morning. It will keep you awake until noon.
- Unknown

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
- Alex Levine

If it ain’t caffeinated, it ain’t coffee!
- Unknown

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.
- T. S. Elliot

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
- Unknown

I like my coffee strong, not lethal!
- M*A*S*H

Do I like my coffee black? There are other colors?
- Unknown

I think if I were a woman I’d wear coffee as a perfume.
- John Van Druten

I bought a decaffeinated coffee table, you can’t even see a difference.
- Unknown

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
- Stephen Wright

Coffee comes in five descending stages: Coffee, Java, Jamoke, Joe, and Carbon Remover.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.
- Stephanie Piro

I make serious coffee – so strong it wakes up the neighbors.
- Unknown

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